FREAKED OUT

Two nightmares in the space of one week is so tiring you know? The first one was all about spiders and the latest one was about this one psycho freak in a hospital.

I was walking alone down the hallway when I noticed this guy who acted suspiciously so I decided to keep my watchful eyes on him for a while and guess what; I noticed him sneaking and killing helpless patients in each ward one by one without being caught red-handed. So yeah basically I began to panic and wrote something down on my palm(I couldn't recall what I wrote) but I think it was to alert those people in the hospital about that psycho freak.

Things started to get worse when he stared me down from afar. I tried to escape downstairs but that guy caught and dragged me inside this one room and injected me with sedative. Helpless and weak, I ran outside and shouted for help. Two doctors were shot dead as they were trying to help. And then, that freaking guy came from behind and grinded my head with some kind of surgery tool so yeah in the end, I DIED.

I know overthinking is not ok, but I have this bad thought that the nightmare might be some kind of vision that I'm getting near to death. Idk why but that's exactly what I feel. If it's true, then I should start seeking for forgiveness in a form of scheduled blog post I guess. Yeah, a scheduled blog post sounds fine :)

TO-DO LIST

"find whatever you love to do and do it- life's all about heart"

*taken from twitter*wink*

It's a bit unfamiliar for me to compile the things I'd like to do during my summer break into one long list. But then, I've been away from home for way too long so yea maybe I need to list down few of them here.

#1. Hug mom and dad, the most lovely parents in the entire world. I really miss their hugs.

#2. Get my beauty sleep

#3. Meet up few familiar faces that I've been missing for so long

#4. Eat as much as I can and regain weight weh. I've lost so much kilos lately and it's really upsetting. I mean, is there something wrong with me? :(

#5. Watch TV

#6. Buy a new laptop.

#7. Visit my ex-classmates while hoping that they still remember me

#8. Buy some nice new clothes and maybe a pair of new shoes.

#9. Drive around the city

#10. Eat my mom's cooking and ask her to cook my fav dishes.

#11. Learn cooking from mom.

#12. Watch movies at the cinema

#13. Futsal with friends ofc

#14. Sleep for one whole day! Ok no.

And the list goes on and on. There are so much things to be done act but nvm. It's not like I'm gonna list them all here. Whatever it is, I hope that I won't be spending most of my time napping like I used to*sigh*

BREAKDOWN

Hi. Just so you know, I'm having such a hard time over here. Gonna collapse due to mental breakdown sooner or later I guess, since my happy-sad ratio is now around 1:infinity hehe k over but seriously, that explains how awfully sad I am right now :'(

First thing first, it's about the OSCE exam. You know how suck it is when you're gonna lose about more than half of the total marks given? Well, I did so bad in the exam you know? The diagrams provided during the exam were full in colors but my printed notes are all black and white hahahahahaha so basically I didn't manage to identify the diagrams given. I think I was the only one who studied OSCE without using laptop since mine is not functioning anymore. Haih. I'm so gonna ask my dad to buy a new laptop fr me later on hmmmm.

And then there's another big thing but I think I'm just gonna keep it to myself fr the time being. Or maybe I'll tell someone about it someday hehe okay nobody seems to care so it's a no. I'll bury it deep inside me.

And somehow, I feel like running away from everything that's bothering me right now but I know I'm gonna end up at the same place anyway so nvm.

FACE IT

Living in the community, we can't expect people to live up to our expectations. Macam yang pernah saya cakap sebelum ni, having expectations is always okay until you have to face the truth, which is rather disappointing. For example, no matter how kind you are towards them, it won't guarantee anything. Sikit pun tak. Because we, people can be cruel sometimes :|

I've lost my wallet earlier this year. My handphone has been stolen back in July. Plus, burglars broke into my house during the raya festive few months ago. Money, briefcase, camera, etc went missing*sigh.

Apa2 pun, I'm not going to blame them lah kot, sebab hmm. Entah lah. Mana lah tahu kan, diorg tu actually modern day Robin Hood yang curik orang punya belonging pastu kasi dekat orang yang kurang berkemampuan ke apa ke kan. Well, we will never knowww

BEING CLOSE

I was taking my hot shower when suddenly the nozzle made a very weird, distracting sound. I thought I'd be dead at that particular moment and yeah, it wasn't funny at all. It wasn't funny at all.

Okay, enough.

I didn't plan to write at first but the rising snatching cases during the last few days which is causing chaos over here moved me to write. I'm a bit intimidated, really. Being close to someone will actually put me in fear; fear of seeing that someone gets hurt either physically or mentally. In other words, fear of not being able to protect that someone from harm. It's more like a chain reaction in which I'll suffer every time that someone gets hurt. But I don't mind to share the pain, actually. It's just that everything would be better if I can protect and lead that someone out of harm's way or AT LEAST make that someone feels safe around me. This is a bit upsetting but still, I'm going to do my best once that someone appears in my life someday.

IT'S OK TO BE AWAY

17th Sept 2012. Happy Belated Birthday, to me.

Dear god, thanks for another year. Everything was beautiful, and I hope things will keep getting more and more beautiful. Thanks for allowing me to have these wonderful people around me. Thanks for the tears, thanks for the joys. Thanks for the hardships as well as all the blessings. Dear god, I know it's a little bit too late for a birthday wish, but may I have one? Please, protect these wonderful people around me, regardless who they are and please, protect this one stranger who I care the most, from any harm.

Yang sedihnya, birthday tahun ni celebrate jauh dari Malaysia, sorang2 je dalam bilik. Semua orang taktau. Kbai.